I wrote this song for Lynn and Maureen for Valentine's day. It is included here for the music, with apologies to Albert Einstein.
There's a girl called Lynnoleum. I love her like I love the smell of petroleum. She's short, cute, witty, and bright, and when we fight, she thinks she's always right. There another one I really care for. She's called 'reen and even though I'd die for her she doesn't really see that she's half of the perfect girl for me. Lynn has black hair, she insists it's dark brown. She really can be such a clown. Reen is tall, hot, long-legged and blonde, I'm sure such a comment will turn her prude-meters on. They really like to make fun of me. Getting much pleasure from imitating me. Talking about tortoises in aquariums and arguing that my rhymes aren't premium. Great spirts have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds, but I still love them can't you see? 'cause they're the perfect girl for me.
Music and Lyrics: Ram