Do-it-Yourself personal ad

This Do-it-Yourself personal ad is done in the spirit of many MAD magazine DiYs. There's also an unique menu-based version which interfaces with a web-based personals bulletin board with the goal of helping you find your soulmate.


There is huge glut of people seeking other people through personal ads everywhere. Reasons for seeking people through a personal indicate a disposition to experiment, being open to new vistas, and a desire to take the road less travelled. On the other hand, it could also indicate you possess a psychopathic/anti-social/pathetic-loser trait. We've designed this to make your job in composing a personal ad so you can land the lover (read: loser) of your dreams! Heck, you might even win of these "best personals of the week" award through one of these combinations!

Here's an example of what this brilliant invention can create:

Hairy garbage man seeks cross-dressing albino for amulance chasing, bird watching, and self-loathing. Must subscribe to MAD, enjoy Yanni, and be tolerant of body odour. Sumo wrestlers a plus. Butthead-impersonators need not apply.

To find true love, just fill in the numbered blanks in this template:

__(1)__ __(2)__ seeks __(3)__ __(4)__ for __(5)__, __(6)__, and __(7)__. Must __(8)__, enjoy __(9)__, and be tolerant of __(10)__. __(11)__ a plus. __(12)__ need not apply.

1 2 3
Suave entomologist Russian
Cuddly garbage man bitter
Demonic GAP Sales Associate possessed
Misunderstood rock star unloved
Beautiful couple flexible
Psychotic lawyer schizophrenic
Epileptic librarian cross-dressing
Recently-paroled Congressman accident-prone
Claustrophobic transvestite agoraphobic
Hairy SWM hairless
Vegan vampire pagan
Illegitimate farmer down-to-earth
4 5 6
student quality lab time bug autopsies
baker wine tasting bird watching
lepidopterist T-shirt folding color coordinating
drummer whining moaning
third-party trivial pursuit Chinese firedrills
albino ambulance chasing blood sucking
ex-convict skinny dipping skeet shooting
scientist web surfing envelope stuffing
playmate treasure hunting viewing porn
beauty practicioner sock matching safari hunting
God fine dining watching whale explosions
veternarian counting sheep lobbying for the NRA
7 8 9
badminton be hyperactive disco music
tractor pulls not live with mom rebuilding carburetors
self-loathing be a Libra Tabasco
making millions be moody smoke filled clubs
mountain climbing own cow trainspotting
acupuncture be ten feet tall target practice
make-up tips own hockey stick anemas
voyeurism sing soprano Fresca
synchronised swimming subscribe to MAD finger painting
dragon hunting understand baby talk Wheel of Fortune
digging wells be bisexual Yanni
sniffing glue be overweight cabbage
10 11 12
cockroaches Fondness for rubber gloves Anal-retentives
garbage smells Sumo wrestlers Skinny people
gold fish Body piercings Jocks
my ego Filed teeth Nerds
fraud Your own car Alfred E. Neuman lookalikes
body odour Enjoyment of sushi Lawyers
flatulence Natural hair color Beavis impersonators
children Gemini's Hunters
farm animals Hard body Women
opera Rollerblading Deep sea divers
MAD magazine Korean language Theatre majors
iguanas Talk show host Jehovah Witnesses


Pseudo-intellectual ram-blings || Ram Samudrala || me@ram.org