This Do-it-Yourself personal ad is done in the spirit of many MAD magazine DiYs. There's also an unique menu-based version which used to interface with a web-based personals bulletin board with the goal of helping you find your soulmate.
There is huge glut of people seeking other people through personal ads everywhere. Reasons for seeking people through a personal indicate a disposition to experiment, being open to new vistas, and a desire to take the road less travelled. On the other hand, it could also indicate you possess a psychopathic/anti-social/pathetic-loser trait. We've designed this to make your job in composing a personal ad so you can land the lover (read: loser) of your dreams! Heck, you might even win of these "best personals of the week" award through one of these combinations!
Here's an example of what this brilliant invention can create:
Hairy garbage man seeks cross-dressing albino for amulance chasing, bird watching, and self-loathing. Must subscribe to MAD, enjoy Yanni, and be tolerant of body odour. Sumo wrestlers a plus. Butthead-impersonators need not apply.
To find true love, just fill in the numbered blanks in this template:
__(1)__ __(2)__ seeks __(3)__ __(4)__ for __(5)__, __(6)__, and __(7)__. Must __(8)__, enjoy __(9)__, and be tolerant of __(10)__. __(11)__ a plus. __(12)__ need not apply.
| 1 | 2 | 3 |
|---|---|---|
| Suave | entomologist | Russian |
| Cuddly | garbage man | bitter |
| Demonic | GAP Sales Associate | possessed |
| Misunderstood | rock star | unloved |
| Beautiful | couple | flexible |
| Psychotic | lawyer | schizophrenic |
| Epileptic | librarian | cross-dressing |
| Recently-paroled | Congressman | accident-prone |
| Claustrophobic | transvestite | agoraphobic |
| Hairy | SWM | hairless |
| Vegan | vampire | pagan |
| Illegitimate | farmer | down-to-earth |
| 4 | 5 | 6 |
| student | quality lab time | bug autopsies |
| baker | wine tasting | bird watching |
| lepidopterist | T-shirt folding | color coordinating |
| drummer | whining | moaning |
| third-party | trivial pursuit | Chinese firedrills |
| albino | ambulance chasing | blood sucking |
| ex-convict | skinny dipping | skeet shooting |
| scientist | web surfing | envelope stuffing |
| playmate | treasure hunting | viewing porn |
| beauty practicioner | sock matching | safari hunting |
| God | fine dining | watching whale explosions |
| veternarian | counting sheep | lobbying for the NRA |
| 7 | 8 | 9 |
| badminton | be hyperactive | disco music |
| tractor pulls | not live with mom | rebuilding carburetors |
| self-loathing | be a Libra | Tabasco |
| making millions | be moody | smoke filled clubs |
| mountain climbing | own cow | trainspotting |
| acupuncture | be ten feet tall | target practice |
| make-up tips | own hockey stick | anemas |
| voyeurism | sing soprano | Fresca |
| synchronised swimming | subscribe to MAD | finger painting |
| dragon hunting | understand baby talk | Wheel of Fortune |
| digging wells | be bisexual | Yanni |
| sniffing glue | be overweight | cabbage |
| 10 | 11 | 12 |
| cockroaches | Fondness for rubber gloves | Anal-retentives |
| garbage smells | Sumo wrestlers | Skinny people |
| gold fish | Body piercings | Jocks |
| my ego | Filed teeth | Nerds |
| fraud | Your own car | Alfred E. Neuman lookalikes |
| body odour | Enjoyment of sushi | Lawyers |
| flatulence | Natural hair color | Beavis impersonators |
| children | Gemini's | Hunters |
| farm animals | Hard body | Women |
| opera | Rollerblading | Deep sea divers |
| MAD magazine | Korean language | Theatre majors |
| iguanas | Talk show host | Jehovah Witnesses |