The Cheesy Primus Trivia Game

For entertainment purposes only. Most answers should be on this page somewhere. I cannot take credit for all the questions, nor the answers, so if something's wrong, please be sure to point it out (I just add these things blindly). Here's how to interpret your scores:

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The easy questions

Primus is:

  1. Les Claypool, Larry "Ler" LaLonde, Tim "Herb" Alexander
  2. Les Claypool, Larry "Ler" LaLonde, Brian "Brain" Mantia
  3. Les Claypool, Larry "Ler" LaLonde, Bob C. Cock
  4. Les Claypool, Todd Huth, Jay Lane
  5. The brand name of a Russian stove

Primus have released eleven albums so far:

  1. True
  2. False

Les' complete name is:

  1. Lester Edward Claypool
  2. Lester Edmonds Claypool
  3. Leslie Edward Claypool
  4. Yellow Lilac Desperado

How did the song Eleven get its name?

  1. It's a queer number
  2. Les's bass for the song has 11 strings
  3. El Bastardo is eleven yards long
  4. It's in 11/8 time signature
  5. Ler has 11 pubic hairs

What is the most common brand of bass Les has?

  1. Jimmy Dean
  2. Ibanez
  3. Slapper-popper 2000
  4. Carl Thompson
  5. Fender

What was the only Primus song from Suck on This that had not been re-recorded until The Anti-Pop was released?

  1. Jellikit
  2. Heckler
  3. Harold of the Rocks
  4. John the Fisherman
  5. Groundhog's Day

What is the name of Les' house?

  1. El Sobrante
  2. Los Bastardos
  3. El Solo number one
  4. Rancho Relaxo
  5. Villa de Lester

What was Primus' original name supposed to be?

  1. Primate
  2. Punch Bowl
  3. Pansies 'R' Us
  4. Pork
  5. Pitch Fork

On the Miscellaneous Debris LP, how many songs are covers?

  1. None of them
  2. Just enough
  3. Four
  4. All of them
  5. 68,463,453,000

Who sang with Les in the song Delicate Tendrils?

  1. Jay Lane
  2. Kirk Hammet
  3. Buddy Holly
  4. B.B. King
  5. Henry Rollins

The not-so-easy questions

At 16, what band would Les "crawl over broken glass" for?

  1. Oasis
  2. Pat Boone
  3. King Crimson
  4. The Residents
  5. Rush

What does Les' wife do for a living?

  1. Les
  2. Ler
  3. Design
  4. Act
  5. Sing

Who was Les' teenage buddy that turned out to be a huge rock star?

  1. Adam Gates
  2. Ram Samudrala
  3. Kirk Hammett
  4. Geddy Lee
  5. Craig Macfarland

Where was Les raised as a kid?

  1. San Franscico, CA
  2. Hazzard County, GA
  3. Del Davis' tree farm, CA
  4. Bel Air, CA
  5. El Sobrante, CA

Who was the best man at Les' wedding?

  1. Trouz
  2. Wynona
  3. Adam Gates
  4. Bill Gates
  5. Dre

What band were Les and Ler in together before Primus?

  1. Tommy Crank Band
  2. Bob Cock and the Yellow Socks
  3. Metallica
  4. Blind Illusion
  5. Beanpole

How many dogs does Les have?

  1. One
  2. Two
  3. Three
  4. Four
  5. None

How many music videos were done from Pork Soda?

  1. One
  2. Two
  3. Three
  4. Four
  5. None

What is the name of Les's boat?

  1. S.S. Bastard
  2. El Sobrante boat
  3. El Bastardo
  4. S.S. Claypool
  5. He doesn't have one

What label was Primus on before Interscope?

  1. Sub-Pop
  2. Geffen
  3. Prawnsong
  4. Caroline
  5. Skankin' Pickle

The hard questions

Primus recorded Tales from the Punchbowl onto...

  1. a Tascam Porta 03
  2. an ADAT digital recorder
  3. an answering machine
  4. a Fostex 8-track
  5. an AFAT digital recorder

What sport is Herb heavily involved in?

  1. Hackey Sack
  2. Skateboarding
  3. Martial Arts
  4. Bungee Jumping
  5. Masturbation

Ler is sponsored by what brand of Guitars?

  1. Peavey
  2. Fender
  3. Shane
  4. Paul Read Smith
  5. Carl Thompson

How did Brian "Brain" Mantia break his foot that stopped him from being Primus' drummer a long time ago?

  1. Sky diving
  2. Skateboarding
  3. Drug running
  4. Twisted pagan ritual
  5. Falling off the stage

How long was Brain the drummer before he broke his foot?

  1. About a day
  2. About a week
  3. About a month
  4. About a year
  5. Just long enough that he had something to blackmail Les and Ler into letting him back in the band

What is Bocephus?

  1. The sound you make when you've eaten too much
  2. The name of an alien race in Star Trek
  3. Les' pet name for his bass
  4. Hank Williams Jr.'s nickname

Snap did all the airbrushing for the Primus album covers; Who is Snap?

  1. Larry LaLonde
  2. Trouz
  3. Les's brother
  4. Lance Montoya
  5. Les Claypool

Primus has had:

  1. 1 guitar player
  2. 2 guitar players
  3. 3 guitar players
  4. 4 guitar players
  5. 5 guitar players

How did Tim's nickname, "Herb", come about?

  1. Tim has a fondness for herbal remedies
  2. It's his middle name
  3. It means "sacred drummer" in Sanskrit
  4. Les first met Tim at a medical pharmacy
  5. Tim wanted a different identity

What was the first record Les ever bought?

  1. The Beatles' Meet The Beatles
  2. Soundtrack to The Jungle Book
  3. Tom Waits' Tom Waits"
  4. Peter Frampton's Frampton Comes Alive
  5. The Knack's Here We Come

The harder questions

Who was the voice in the beginning of Hamburger Train?

  1. Les Claypool
  2. Todd Huth
  3. Pee Wee Herman
  4. Cris Cuevas
  5. Lance Montoya

The sound clip in My Name is Mud comes from which movie?

  1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
  2. Deliverance
  3. Shane
  4. Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
  5. Sense and Sensibility

What key signature is "Precipitation" in?

  1. C Major
  2. B Flat Minor
  3. F Minor
  4. G Sharp Major
  5. C Sharp Minor

What exactly are Cohibas Esplendidos?

  1. Jamaican style banana splits
  2. Pagan rituals performed by Brain
  3. Cuban cigars
  4. Spanish term for "splendid blankets"
  5. African inch-worms

How did Les become partially deaf in one ear?

  1. a car wreck
  2. mud wrestling with Ler
  3. was born that way
  4. playing too loud at concerts
  5. a diving accident

Which ear of Les' is partially deaf?

  1. Right
  2. Left
  3. Both
  4. Neither
  5. All three

What indie flick was Tim Alexander in?

  1. Chalk
  2. Powder
  3. The English Patient
  4. Kung Fu Rascals
  5. Living in Oblivion

Who now owns the guitar Jimi Hendrix used to record Purple Haze?

  1. Al Hendrix
  2. Les
  3. Ler
  4. Brain
  5. Todd Huth

Who tattooed Les's head?

  1. Bob Cock
  2. Theo Jack
  3. Trouz
  4. "Herb"
  5. Larry Lalonde

Herb's Cymbals:

  1. Zildjian
  2. Aquarian
  3. Little Drummer Boy Inc.
  4. Premier
  5. REMO

The hardest questions

Which of Les' Carl Thompson basses is the oldest?

  1. Six string fretless (rainbow)
  2. Six string fretted
  3. Four string without tremolo
  4. Four string piccolo

The serial number on Les's six string fretless rainbow bass is...

  1. 10109430
  2. 353 682 23
  3. Les's birthday
  4. Carl Thompson's birthday
  5. Carl Thompson's wife's birthday

Sausage's video for Riddles are Abound Tonight was responsible for:

  1. convincing Tipper Gore to call the National Guard
  2. making the music industry puke
  3. making Les release a solo album
  4. winning the band a Grammy nomination
  5. inspiring Beavis and Butthead's Cornholio episode

How old was Les's mom when Les was born?

  1. 16
  2. 17
  3. 18
  4. 19
  5. 20

Who is Michael Malloy?

  1. One of Les's old high school teachers
  2. A character from Back to The Future
  3. The manager of a band Primus once toured with
  4. An Irishman who became a victim of a series of murder attempts
  5. A member of the Sathington Willoughby Orchestra

What is the inscription under the tatoo on Les's scalp?

  1. "Primus Sucks!"
  2. "Skeeters Suck Too!"
  3. "Fish On!"
  4. "Suck On This!"
  5. "El Bastardo"

Who is C.G.?

  1. Harold of the Rocks
  2. Les's second cousin
  3. Herb's dog
  4. A mexican
  5. Some bum that Les got drunk with

Who was Turd Boy's front man?

  1. Less
  2. Butt House
  3. Bob Cock
  4. Trouz
  5. Mike Patton

Turd Boy's debut was at...

  1. The Stone.
  2. The Berkely Square.
  3. The Omni.
  4. Warfield Theater.
  5. Contra Costa Community Collage.

What movie can Les quote almost any line from?

  1. Deliverance
  2. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
  3. Forrest Gump
  4. Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure
  5. The Clockwork Orange

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